~**-PiEcE Of A BeAutIfuL MeMoRy-**~

Saturday, August 25, 2007

Lately,i realise things between me n my fellow closed ones havent been smooth..i know we havent been talkin things out..i know partly i am wrong..however,i didnt see all this coming..neither have i ever thought it would turn out this critical..most of my friends should know by now that i treasure friendship more than i treasure anythin else..without them,i dont think i can lead my everyday life sanely..i know sometimes i do or say things without even thinkin..i can be oblivious to so many things around me..hence,i tend to do stupid mistakes which may or may not hurt the ones around me whom i really care for..i regret doin what im not suppose to so thus i always try my best to make up or just simply hoping an apology would at least do some good..iv always thought that our friendship that we've built has brought such significant meaning to my life..

I make mistakes,i know i do..and whenever people say that im wrong,that iv caused sumthin,i never hesitate to admit that i am wrong..seriously..but sometimes,i dont even know what iv done wrong?until uv told me,then only i'd understand why...i can usually sense it whenever things are not right,i'll remain quiet for awhile and when finally i cant take it,i'll eventually say it out..sometimes the hurt i feel inside stops me from doing so..hence,probably u might think i dont giva thing abt it..like im ignorant..fact is im not.iv learnt to take things easily these days..i try to be cool about whatever..with that,i find life to be less complex n less tense..

Yes,im impatient,yes im hotheaded..but after all that..i still understand whats happening..i will wake up from it n try as much as possible to solve whats been bothering..i hate for things to go on n on without giving a damn thing abt it..its like it gets really annoying n frustrating,cant bare to see it deteriorate..aside that,it really bugs me like crazy whenever i ask sumthin n the person dont wanna say a darn thing especially when i ask the same question over n over again..in the end,i'll lose all my energy n just back off..i see no point in askin the same old dusty question..i dont take it as a waste of time,its more of using up my effort..also,having someone next to you but feeling as if its a shadow..it also makes me feel like as though im invisible,like im not there..like there u are wanting n hoping to say sumthin,yearning that we could at least share a conversation,there u are not wanting to face me..it seriously hurts..like a spear stabbed deep through...

I myself have feelings too..im also human who does sumthin wrong every now n them..i have eyes but sometimes i cannot see the truth,cannot realise that i am doing sumthin which bothers u terribly..until u tell me whatsup then only,i can actually know?yeah so..sometimes i cannot think on my own..yes i am blur i know,i gotta admit..i dont pretend i am but i REALLY am..u should know by now..so gotta TELL ME..cuz its then i'd really know whats happening..

I've cried a river..but no one knows?no one wants to know?do they?no matter,would it eventually solve the problems?i doubt so...but if we talk it out..im sure it will..even though no apology is required at all..i still think it is essential..hence,i already said countless sorry..but still its not required..i pray that things will turn over n start anew..i believe that things can work out..im not saying its gonna be easy but i will try as much as i can..i love u guys whole heartedly..i cant bear to see our long-time friendship gets ruined just by some miscommunication and misunderstanding..i dont think it is that worth it..

One last: I'm sorry

and i dearly treasure u guys..u know who u are.

SINCERELY,

HANNAHBANANA

- Pure Bliss... ;