~**-PiEcE Of A BeAutIfuL MeMoRy-**~

Monday, August 20, 2007

I have been stress lately about exams and all..scared that i cannot make it...like feelin insecure about my studies n everything..the teachers are constantly giving discouraging remarks..how to succeed like that??haisss......its alright luh...i just pray very hard that i can make this through...hopefully! *pray*

Today was quite okay considering it was raining...and very chilly...i was fasting today..and funny was;i didnt feel hungry at all...perhaps because i didnt have the mood and appetite..i was so busy doing my work..engrossed..i just didnt feel like thinkin or doin anythin else but to concentrate on my work...iv been so pressurized with my life currently..dunnoe what to do..like feelin LOST..very scared,full of axiety..sheeshhh...what's happening..??

My friends' been tellin me to take a chill pill,relax abit but i dunnoe why..been so uptight and tense...even the slightest thing could make me go crazy..like for example; syafiq just now pissed me off alittle..but im not holding anything back...just at that moment of time...being rather sensitive n didnt know what i was thinkin...IM SORRY SYAFIQ..im insane i know!forgive me!

On top of that....i have been having mixed feelings lately..i do not know whether i should cast these crazy feelings away..one after another keep reminding me of the past i had with this apparent SOMEONE...everytime i see him..i dunnoe whether is it LOVE?LIKE?HATE?ASHAMED?WRONGED?i seriously have no idea..its really ridiculous;how many people keep tellin me he still has the same feeling towards me..i try my best to cast those thoughts away but its inevitable..hurhur...i just wanna get OVER...for the first time in a veryyyy long time,today i had this few seconds of eye contact with him...OMG,i tell u...it was so nerve recking..for a split second...i felt like my contact lense was gonna fall out of my eyes...haha..funny funny me!i turned around to look around randomly and there HE was staring straight back at me..omg..!i felt so silly....to smile or not to?hurrrrrr..maybe talk?

I just have mixed feelings..i hope he can get over people like me...i just cannot see myself being in another relationship right now cuz i cannot even handle myself,so how can i handle someone else who has high hopes in me..and if i fail to execute sumthing;i'd end up hurting someone..yet again...so why the chore!i really feel crushed whenever i hurt someone,unintentionally that is..the feeling sucks to the core..if the person feel crushed,i'm tripled of what he's feeling but its just utter fate i have to say..hence,i need to recover fully before even commiting myself again..seriously..i'm really bad at this thing called RELATIONSHIP...or am i??hmmmmphh..

**TOTAL KLUTZ**

Tomorrow is O'level english oral exam,and so im gonna bounce now to get myself ready and prepared..i need to be calm,cool,collected...sooooooooooooo SAYONARA!!

-CONFUSED HANNAH oouuuutsss!!-

- Pure Bliss... ;