~**-PiEcE Of A BeAutIfuL MeMoRy-**~

Monday, September 10, 2007

Everybody knows im at the current moment single and unavailable...why am i unavailable?well simply this is because apparently too many guys have been tryin to intrude into my indeliberately miserable life..tell me..why is it miserable?is it because i do it on purpose?or is it just a coincident that my life have been such a dread all year round!why havent i gotten over certain intense things which has happened in my life lately n that im suppose to be sooo through it and moved on?its just been such a freakin heartache just thinkin abt it all over again..i mean why cant i just be HAPPY both inside out..i cant be happy for a second whenever i am happy?do u get it?NO..guess not..well try to!cuz im sick n tired of tryin to make people understand what iv gone through all these times..insane!

I've always been delirious abt so many things but nowadays when it comes to boys..i'll go all dull and blue..like im never interested or whatever..hideous feeling i know but i just cant help it..sucks dont it?sheeshhh....i guess im better off without..better than with?uhhhhhh..totally understandable,and reason because?im soooooo over heartbreak..i dun wanna let it repeat again,not through my eyes..never again..now i sound like MISS KELLY CLARKSON!gosshh...somebody slap me twice and say im gonna find mr.right someway someday..(not now thou!) i'm miss.independant!hurrrrhhh...right hannah right!

Ok so here's the thing...lately theres a few complications...supposed to be but im cool with it..i just need time to understand..why are they wasting their time??not that i mean to break their hearts..but excuse me..im so not your type..underline my words..IM NOT YOUR TYPE..god!why is it so hard..im not talkin abt any particular person..im sayin it in general..u like the girl and the girl dont give it back to u in return frm what u expect,feelings,then MOVE ON!as simple as ABC n D..i think every girl deserves the every respect from a guy..true enough??

---------------------------------------------------------------------->

I need a breather...see i have a friend..he's a guy obviously..he's nice,not handsome,too much smoke in my face,not my kinda guy but totally nice n gentleman,mannered..sweet i must say BUT im just not into him..

NEXT,he is a friend of mine,good looking..tall i suppose..quite charming looking but no sense of humour..he doesnt understand nuts what i say half the time..he'll go yeah uhuh ok!wtf is that?!?!hello,little miss brainy is talkin to a charming dumb dumb??wtf?!?!uhhhh...dweeb much..sometimes i feel like im talkin to a boring dumb sucker bleep!no wonder his ex left him..sheeshh nightmare!!poor guy..burrrrghh...

NEXT,he is another friend of mine..not that cute,not really my kinda guy but funny,gentle and kind..haisss...see what i mean...?

The dude is either chinese,malay or a mix..i feel guilty for lookin at the physical being..but i have eyes..i look at looks too ya know..like every other girl.however i respect every single one of them as the way they really are..if u wanna say im superficial n yaduh yaduh yaduh then go ahead say it but im standing still on my perspectives and principals here.not bein disrespectful or anythin but seriously im open..

Oh and another bugger is my stupid ex..why cant he just freakin leave me alone?move over dimwit...who does he think he is?mr charmer?MR.oh-i-can-get-back-my-exfg-again?MR.oh-im-so-confident?well then fck u!irritant..errghh!irks me!

Last but not the least,he is an ex too..he is really different from all the rest iv dated..he speaks like he knows it all..he's at the same time weird..he's someone whom people dont think we'd be such a match..but is that a sin??he looks at me and thinks of me in a very different way..however,things didnt work out between us,the feeling wasnt right...but we're still talkin at least..thats a friend after a relationship..!hmmmmm...so so...urrghh..nvrm!

My point is..so far all the guys iv gotten to know n dated is so-not-me..i need someone who is secure abt what he does,what he says,what he feels..knows how to touch me in a way i can think or feel that UHAH he is the right one for me..if u know what i mean..but so far there is none..im sure there is gonna be one day..i'll just sit and NOT wait..NOT search but to obseeeeerve...hah!am i right or am i right?!haha..yeah so thats how exactly im thinkin..before sayin or thinkin abt whatever..i'll have to say this; i am not DESPERATE..this is just how i feel at the current moment..thinkin tat every guy coming my way is not meeting my criteria..hurhur..how miserable..but thats OOOKKKAYY..i can live with it until ic found one! :D

HAPPY N NOT WAITING JUST OBSERVING,

HANNAHBANANA

- Pure Bliss... ;